So today….it is very close to the 3 year anniversary of the day I finally left the hospital prison I had been in for so long. Today I read about the death of someone from NMDAR encephalitis, the illness I too suffered, someone I didn’t know but was connected to through the illness and an amazing support group on facebook. It made me angry..this is a time of year for me when emotions come rushing up to the surface and what I experienced is never far from my mind. I have talked about the illness on Facebook and toyed with the idea of setting up a website to raise awareness in the uk but due to time restraints I have not managed to progress this as I would have liked. Today I thought…I want to tell this story, I want to share how it really felt to have a brain splintering and melting. I have spent the day wondering what my purpose in doing this would be? There is no doubt that there would be a therapeutic element for me but the main thing is this…in all the conversations I have had with people who have had the same illness or their family members, I am yet to come across another person who remembers, in vivid detail, what it was like in the critical stages of the disease. Most people report huge gaps in memory..not me. I remember everything. There is a 2 week point, when I was at my worst, that is very hazy, but aside from that, it is all there in crazy technicolor. So why share that? I don’t know is the answer…because I want to? Maybe it might help someone along the way, maybe it might help a family member understand? Do I need a reason?